Short Funny quotes about life to make you laugh hard
What does it mean when a girl says you are so funny?
What does funny mean?
Short Funny quotes on life
|Very Funny Quotes About Life|
Funny quotes that are really funny
He who laughs last didn't get the joke. -Charles de Gaulle
Whoever said money can't buy happiness didn't know where to shop. -- Gertrude Stein
When there is so much month left at the end of the money? -- John Barrymore
When nothing goes right, go left.
If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments. -Earl Wilson
People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day. -- A. A. Milne
Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt. -Abraham Lincoln
All the things I really like to do are either immoral, illegal, or fattening. -- Alexander Woollcott
Marriage is the only war in which sleeps with the enemy. --Francois de La Rochefoucauld
Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society. -- Mark Twain
I was born to make mistakes, not to fake perfection. -- Drake
I am in Shape. Round is a shape. -- George Carlin
More for you
Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes. – Jim Carrey
Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back. -- Oscar Wilde
Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves? – Robin Williams
I’m an idealist. I don’t know where I’m going, but I’m on my way. – Carl Sandburg
I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by. – Douglas Adams
The best way to lie is to tell the truth . . . carefully edited truth. – Anonymous
I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with Guess on it. I said, Thyroid problem? – Arnold Schwarzenegger
A bargain is something you don’t need at a price you can’t resist. – Franklin Jones
I always arrive late at the office, but I make u[ for it by leaving early. -- Charles Lamb
If you want your children to listen, try talking softly to someone else. -Ann Landers
Never have more children than your car windows. -Erma Bombeck
If you steal from one author, it’s plagiarism; if you steal from many, it’s research. – Wilson Mizner
I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw that my bath toys were a toaster and a radio. – Joan Rivers
There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments. – Chris Rock
Why didn’t Noah swat those two mosquitoes? – Anonymous
It’s true hard work never killed anybody, but I figure, why take the chance? – Ronald Reagan
I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap. – Rodney Dangerfield
I bought some batteries, but they weren’t included. – Steven Wright
I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and I think, Well, that’s not going to happen. – Anonymous
If at first, you don’t succeed… so much for skydiving. – Henny Youngman
Insanity is hereditary. You get it from your children. – Sam Levenson
I was trying to daydream, but my mind kept wandering. Steven Wright
If a book about failures doesn’t sell, is it a success? Jerry Seinfeld
I like Kit-Kat, unless I’m with four or more people. Mitch Hedberg
I live on a one-way street that’s also a dead end. I’m not sure how I got there. Steven Wright
Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you an automobile. Billy Sunday
Never trust people who smile constantly. They’re either selling something or not very bright. Laurell K. Hamilton
I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it. Mark Twain
A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on. Winston S. Churchill
When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye. Cathy Guisewite
Everything is changing. People are taking the comedians seriously and the politicians as a joke. Will Rogers
It’s okay if you don’t like me. Not everyone has good taste.
I came from a real tough neighborhood. Once a guy pulled a knife on me. I knew he wasn’t a professional, the knife had butter on it. Rodney Dangerfield
That’s why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it. George Carlin
If you’re too open-minded; your brains will fall out. Lawrence Ferlinghetti
A pessimist is a man who thinks everybody is as nasty as himself, and hates them for it. George Bernard Shaw
I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me. Fred Allen
If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple of payments. Steven Wright
The four most beautiful words in our common language: I told you so. Gore Vidal
My esteem in this country has gone up substantially. It is very nice now that when people wave at me, they use all their fingers. Jimmy Carter (US president 1977 to 1981)
The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don’t want, drink what you don’t like, and do what you’d rather not. Mark Twain
I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous – everyone hasn’t met me yet. Rodney Dangerfield
My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror. Rodney Dangerfield Click to tweet
I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people. Rodney Dangerfield
If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee. Abraham Lincoln
My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them. Mitch Hedberg
Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks? Steven Wright
I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol. Steven Wright
I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle. Mitch Hedber
“People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.” – A. A. Milne
“Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt.” – Abraham Lincoln
“If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?” – Abraham Lincoln
“The best thing about the future is that it comes one day at a time.” – Abraham Lincoln
“The only mystery in life is why the kamikaze pilots wore helmets.” – Al McGuire
“Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.” – Alan Dundes
“Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal.” – Albert Camus
“Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. Invariably they are both disappointed.” – Albert Einstein
If I had just one hour left to live, I'd spend it in Math class... it never ends. Anonymous
Mom: Why is everything on the floor? Me: Gravity, mom. --Anonymous
Maths Funny Quotes About Life
If A is success in life, then A is equal to X plus Y plus Z. Work is X; Y is play; and Z - keeping your mouth shut. --Albert Einstein
I had an extremely busy day, converting oxygen into carbon dioxide. Anonymous
I thought there was a spider on the rug but it was just yarn. It's dead yarn now though. --Anonymous
I'm not frowning, I'm just smiling upside down. --Anonymous
I'm a person who wants to do a lot of things trapped in the body of a person who wants to sleep a lot. --Anonymous
The most important thing in life is not knowing everything, it's having the phone number of somebody who does! --Anonymous
How to Make Someone Laugh
Why Do You Need to Make Someone Laugh?
1. Ways to Make Someone Laugh In A Funny Way
One of the most essential reasons for laughing is that it makes us feel better about ourselves. So, if something makes you laugh because it makes you feel superior, it will most likely make others feel superior and laugh as well. So, on your thoughts or a piece of paper, jot down all the funny things you see in books, movies, serials, poetry, tidbits, gossip, comedic shows, and so on.
There are three things that make people laugh the most, and they can be utilized over text or without speaking:
Feeling superior to someone who is illiterate.
Sedative and unaffected response to worry and mental anguish
The disparity between our expectations and what actually occurs
The "first" and "second" reasons are explanations for why laughter makes us feel better about ourselves, but the "final" reason is a means to better understand the world around us. All three, though, are critical.
However, keep in mind that not everyone will like the jokes as much as you do. Understanding your audience's personality and thought process might assist you in determining which jokes are most suited for them ( see different types of humor and related personalities).
You should also keep in mind that the atmosphere you're in may make the event seem more amusing, but when you explain or recount it in a different place or situation, it may come across as monotonous and absurd.
So, if you want to tell a funny narrative, you should start by describing the setting and allowing your audience to visualize the circumstance.
2. Be Amusing and Amuse Others
To do something amusing, you must first find amusing things. As a result, you must devote time to reading and studying amusing topics. You can, for example, read a comic book and then watch a comic movie. Then consider which section is amusing and why.
Then you should practice saying them to children. Then you'll be able to fill the world with laughter and amusing activities. Knowing when and what to laugh at in a socially responsible manner is part of having a sense of humor.
3. Take a Mental Break
Surprising someone with something humorous is one method to make them laugh really hard. To accomplish so, you must first distract them so that their minds are primed for a surprise.
This is where you distinguish between the person's anticipation and the actual result. Juggernauts perform the same thing by diverting people's attention.
To summarise, making someone laugh or being humorous relies on timing in order to get the most out of a subject. The theme of your joke or amusing behavior impacts the entire framework of your joke or amusing behavior, which is an important component to consider while planning a surprise.
4. Time Management
As previously stated, proper timing is required if you want to know how to make someone laugh when they are unhappy or over text. It's necessary because if you give your brain too much time to process your circumstance or joke, the funny moment will be lost.
This is probably why people don't laugh at duplicate jokes since it takes away from the story's sense of comedy. Before it's too late, you need to respond swiftly and make a joke.
5. Recognition of the Listener
To begin, you must first understand the characteristics of the person or individuals in front of you, as well as what makes them laugh. When you're among a group of individuals you don't know, pay attention to what they're talking about and laughing about.
Are they the ones that are giggling and joking around? Or do they laugh at physical humor or drama jokes? The more you know about your opponent, the more likely you are to make them laugh ( see different types of humor in conversation and writing).
Keep in mind that in any of these situations, you must know your audience in order to make them laugh and demonstrate your comedy.
6. Watch Comedy Shows On TV
The easiest way to learn how to make someone laugh is to practise, and the best way to practise is to watch comedy acts. Multiple writers and numerous skilled comedians collaborate to bring you the funniest moments possible.
Although repeating the same jokes to others who have already seen the show may not be as entertaining, you can use it as a springboard for new jokes or simply to learn how to behave or make someone laugh.
7. Don't Be Too Hard On Yourself
Don't take yourself too seriously if you want to make someone laugh. Remember all those sabotage attempts and the times when messing up was the most amusing? Make use of them while remembering that no one is flawless.
The more you put pressure on yourself, the more irritating the setting becomes for both you and others. On the other side, you may make everything more sweaty and amusing if you regard the situation as an opportunity to make others laugh because even a minor blunder can be used against you. Then your prize would be a deeper connection and friendship in your relationship.
8. Recognize When It's Not Appropriate To Make a Joke
Why are you trying to figure out how to make a sad person laugh? You want people to be pleased, but you should be aware that bad jokes make them sadder.
So keep in mind that you should never make a joke about religion, cancer, death, bullying, or killing people. Such jokes are not socially reasonable or acceptable, it should be stated. There are also a few more topics that may be sensitive for one or more people.
Humor is a tool that can be used to make people laugh, cheer, criticize, and sometimes challenge others, but it can also be abused if it is used to offend others. To avoid crossing ambiguous limits, rely on your common sense and pay attention to how your target looks at you.
9. Take Pleasure In The Element of Surprise
To make someone laugh for real with a joke It's useful to remember that the more solemn the setting, the easier it is to incorporate a surprise aspect to make a joke.
Because of this element of surprise, many films include the film's funniest scenes in the most serious scenes that the viewer does not expect. On the contrary, it makes it difficult to laugh at people who are watching comedies or movies.
10. Develop a Clever Personality
Some people believe that everybody who is witty and hilarious has a problem and acts in this manner to disguise their sorrows and issues, but this is not the case. When we get in touch with people who don't appear to be extremely successful in their personal and professional lives, we find that their pleasure stems from their lifestyle and the world inside them.
Inspirational Funny Short Quotes About Life“When you feel like stopping think about why you started.”
“I want buns of steel but I also want buns of cinnamon.”
“Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.” Mark Twain
“Opportunity does not knock, it presents itself when you beat down the door.” -- Kyle Chandler
“People say ‘nothing is impossible but I do nothing every day.”
Death and Taxes Quotes
The only difference between death and taxes is that death doesn't get worse every time Congress meets. Will Rogers
Nothing is certain in life but death and taxes. And in Donald Trump's case, lies. Pamela
Meyer Apart from death and taxes, the one thing that's certain in this life is that I'll never be a fashion icon. Bruce Dickinson
Human nature stays the same, the one thing that stays constant, like death and taxes. And people still want good stories! Alison Owen
Very Short Funny Sarcastic Quotes About Life
Have you ever been sarcastically inspired by someone?
Well, motivating someone with snarky remarks isn't a new concept. For a long time, this approach of motivating has been used. The irony is used to insult someone in sarcastic remarks. The term "inspiration" refers to the use of words to motivate someone. Sarcastic inspirational quotes, on the other hand, refer to statements and sayings that are both powerful and kind enough to make you chuckle. A powerful combination of both of these feelings can have such an impact on you that the inspiration you receive may last a bit longer than usual. Sometimes all you need is for someone to say something amusing, but also a little dumb and sarcastic, to motivate you to finish that task or make that change.
Life is hard; it’s harder if you’re stupid. - John Wayne
People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day. - A. A. Milne
I’m such a good lover because I practice a lot on my own. - Woody Allen
The four most beautiful words in our common language: I told you so. - Gore Vidal
A man in love is incomplete until he has married. Then he’s finished. - Zsa Zsa Gabor
It’s amazing how you can have to worst day ever, but still, laugh at yourself when you push a door that says pull. - Anonymous
Funny sarcastic inspirational quotes about life and people
The road to success is always under construction. - Lily Tomlin
What do people do with all the extra time they save by writing ‘k’ instead of ‘ok’? - Anonymous
If you’re going to tell people the truth, be funny or they’ll kill you. - Billy Wilder
Funny Sarcastic Inspirational Quotes About Life and People
I’m not saying I hate you, what I’m saying is that you are literally the Monday of my life. - Anonymous
There’s no better vacation than my boss being on vacation. - Anonymous
I don’t always tolerate stupid people. But when I do, I’m probably at work. - Anonymous
Don’t mistake my efficiency as meaning I want to do your job, too. - Anonymous
If you find me offensive. Then I suggest you quit finding me. - Anonymous
Unless your name is Google stop acting like you know everything. - Anonymous
When one door closes, another opens. Or you can open the closed door. That’s how doors work. - Anonymous
Sometimes I need what only you can provide: your absence. - Ashleigh Brilliant
A clear conscience is usually a sign of a bad memory. - Steven Wright
"I’d agree with you, but then we’d both be wrong." - Anonymous.
"If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito." - Dalai Lama.
"I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants." - Whitney Brown.
"Life is hard; it’s harder if you’re stupid." - John Wayne.
"Age is of no importance unless you’re a cheese." - Billie Burke.
"True bonding is when you and your friends are all angry about the same thing." - Anonymous.
"Education is what remains after one has forgotten everything he learned in school." - Albert Einstein.
Funny Sarcastic Quotes Short
"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go." - Oscar Wilde.
"There's no secret about success. Did you ever know a successful man who didn’t tell you about it?" - Kin Hubbard.
"The trouble with her is that she lacks the power of conversation but not the power of speech." - George Bernard Shaw.
"A diamond is merely a lump of coal that did well under pressure." - Anonymous.
"The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking spaces." - Will Rogers.
Funny Quotes About Life That Are Very Short
“Life doesn’t imitate art, it imitates bad television.” -- Woody Allen
“If cats looked like frogs we’d realize what nasty, cruel little bastards they are. Style. That’s what people remember.” --Terry Pratchett
“Opera is when a guy gets stabbed in the back and, instead of bleeding, he sings.” -- Robert Benchley
“Life is pain, highness. Anyone who says differently is selling something.” -- William Goldman
“Everybody does have a book in them, but in most cases that’s where it should stay.” -- Christopher Hitchens
“I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be.” -- Douglas Adams
“Insanity is doing the same thing, over and over again, but expecting different results.” -- Albert Einstein
“I walk around like everything’s fine, but deep down, inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off.” —Anonymous
Short Funny Wife Quote
“I haven’t spoken to my wife in years. I didn’t want to interrupt her.” —Rodney Dangerfield
Click here for Motivational quotes which are funny to make you laugh again but this time with motivation.
“It’s not whether you get knocked down; it’s whether you get up.” —Vince Lombardi
“So long as your desire to explore is greater than your desire to not screw up, you’re on the right track.” —Ed Helms
“I used to sell furniture for a living. The trouble was, it was my own.” —Les Dawson
“Creativity is a wild mind and a disciplined eye.” —Dorothy Parker
So Funny Laughing Quotes
“By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you’ll become happy; if you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher.” -- Socrates
“The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found.” -- Calvin Trillin
“Birthdays are nature’s way of telling you to eat more cake.” -- Jo Brand
“You know you’re getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.” -- Bob Hope
“Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest.” -- Larry Lorenzoni
“You’ve heard of the three ages of man – youth, age, and you are looking wonderful.” -- Francis Cardinal Spellman
'We don't laugh because we are happy, we are happy because we laugh'.
Funny And Inspirational Quotes About Aging
“The spirit never ages. It stays forever young.” – Lailah Gifty Akita
“To keep the heart unwrinkled — to be hopeful, kindly, cheerful, reverent — that is to triumph over old age.” – Thomas Bailey Aldrich
“Almost all my middle-aged and elderly acquaintances, including me, feel about 25 — unless we haven’t had our coffee, in which case we feel 107.” – Martha Beck
“Aging is an extraordinary process where you become the person you always should have been.” – David Bowie
“ … (H)e who is of a calm and happy nature will hardly feel the pressure of age, but to him who is of an opposite disposition, youth and age are equally a burden.” – Cephalus
“Old age … is a good and pleasant thing. It is true you are gently shouldered off the stage, but then you are given such a comfortable front stall as spectator.” – Confucius
“You don’t have a future when you refuse to accept the former generation. Simple.” – Petra Hermans
“Youth is the gift of nature, but age is a work of art.” – Stanislaw Jerzy Lec
Great funny quotes for laughing to make your day better laugh like a child remove everything from your brain and maintain that smile because smiles make your face beautiful and fresh so smile for your face, don't invest in makeup ear that natural makeup.
My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them. – Mitch Hedberg
Laugh and the world laugh with you, snore and you sleep alone. – Anthony Burgess
First, the doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me. – Steve Martin
Why do people say no offense right before they’re about to offend you? – Anonymous
I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it. – W.C. Fields
As a child my family’s menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it. – Buddy Hacket
Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong. – Anonymous
If men knew how women pass the time when they are alone, they’d never marry. – O. Henry
“A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.” -- Lana Turner
My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the hell she is. -- Ellen DeGeneres